Ladylike
Lately I’ve been listening to a podcast called Unladylike — it’s about women who break the rules, what it’s like living within and changing the patriarchy, the way it’s all institutionalized and what...
View ArticleComplications and Complexity
So one thing you hear, in public conversations around the subjects of depression and suicidality, is that you should speak up. Tell someone. Talk about it. Etc and other synonymous ways of saying that....
View ArticleOn Owning Up
For the longest time I thought there must be something wrong, because people around me were quick to accuse and yet failed ever to own their own shit. People never ever took responsibility for what...
View ArticleDimming, Disappearing, Disintegrating
Oh gosh that post title could easily signal worries about a bad psychological state for me, so let me really quickly say NO! I’m great! It’s just so relevant to the point of the post that I want to...
View ArticleIt Doesn’t Matter How You’re Feeling
There is something wrong with our wood stove — even though fresh air is still being pulled in from the outside, it’s not drawing inside the stove, and consequently it’s SUPER hard to make a fire. Or...
View Articlethe Just World Hypothesis
I’m here to offer yet another plug for aging. Getting older can be so marvelous, because you start to see with clarity. (Not everyone; I’ve known some bitter, small, mean old people who became...
View ArticleYou Can’t Escape from What You Are
Vincent Cassel // “You can’t escape from what you are.”That image came up in my Instagram feed (the account is Nitch, and it’s reliably a source of something to pause and think about) and indeed, the...
View Articleself-ease
Summer 1980, age 21 — I was certain, then, that no one could be more monstrous than I was. I look at myself then, so fresh and young and pretty, and can’t imagine how I saw what I saw. I still can...
View Articledestabilization
It was not the first time he raped me, but it was the first time my mind severely broke. In the middle of it, while I was crying, my stepfather said, “I don’t know why you’re crying, I’m not doing...
View Articleperfect knowledge
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about perfect knowledge, after realizing that again and again I was wishing for it — I just want to know exactly why people came to vote for the completely monstrous...
View Articleon the misnomer of “mentally ill”
Before I say anything else, I’ll claim it: I deal with mental illness. I’m not embarrassed by that, or ashamed of it, and I don’t think it means I’m weak, or broken, or less-than anyone in the world....
View ArticleI’m satisficed
That’s not a typo in the post title — it refers to my stance as a satisficer. According to psych research, one is a satisficer or a maximizer. When you’re trying to make a decision, what is important...
View Articleaphantasia
MAN! This is the coolest thing, the most interesting revelation about my experience I think I’ve ever had. I do not have mental images — just nothing! I can’t close my eyes and see your face, even if I...
View Articleso amazed I want to fly
A couple of days ago I wrote about this stunning insight I had that probably sounds dumb to anyone else, the way insights are. Yeah, I knew that all along about you, obvious. And? But an insight...
View Articlea quiet little voice from a deep, dark hole
Depression is so awful, as you know if you have experienced it in its bad form. I mean, not the kind where you’re so depressed because you couldn’t find any fresh strawberries and you really wanted...
View ArticleI’m not saying it’s magic, but….
Remember a couple of days ago I wrote a post about sitting with feelings — the ‘you are the blue sky’ one? In that post I talked about sitting with extreme anxiety that seemed to be due to a memory...
View ArticleI do it my way
“You are the sky. Everything else is just the weather.” ~Pema Chodron I’ve been steadily meditating on that idea since last June, and it fits so beautifully — of course — with the focus on mindfulness...
View Articlefighting the not-doing
Doing savasana in Nong Khiaw. Gosh I wish I were there right now. At the end of a yoga practice, you end in corpse pose — savasana. My yoga teachers always call it “the most important pose” and then...
View Articleauthority
Of all the ridiculous ways you can divide people (i.e., “There are two kinds of people….”) I have another one: There are two kinds of people — those who just plow forward and do things, and those who...
View Articleempathy v sympathy
For the longest time I thought I knew what empathy meant. I’m a smart person, I feel things deeply and connect to others, and I’m a psychologist for heaven’s sake. And I always thought I was a very...
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